Question: Help! I saw your blog and realized that a lot of my odd habits have to do with my unhealthy association with food, but I do not know how to stop it. I am constantly thinking about food, looking for food, and seeing where I can get free food. When I’m at work, I look for places where there is free food available, even if it is not on my floor/department. When there are samples, I can’t help but take more than one. I sometimes even go to places like Costco, just to get the free food samples. At times I have fallen so low as to “try” other people’s food from the fridge without asking. I managed to stop this for a while, but now I have started to feel the urge again.
How do I stop these embarrassing habits? Part of it has to do with the fact that I love to try new things, and a little of different things. Also, I’d like to “sample” some items, but know I don’t want to buy the whole container of it to take home. However, a part of it, I know deals with the fact that I don’t allow myself to eat some of these foods, like take out, because it is not good.
I feel like these habits have started to interfere with my life, and don’t know how to stop exactly. Any advice would be appreciated.
Answer: Hi Nadia, thank you so much for your question. I feel for you. It sounds like food obsession is taking over your life and your mind.
I imagine that there are a few things going on here. The first is that you have these big conflicting emotions about food. One is excitement and curiosity– but the other is fear. So you allow yourself to find ways to keep food limited for you. You don’t trust yourself to set your own limits, so you find places to that will set those limits for you. You go to places where there are free samples so you don’t have to deal with setting your own limits.
The other thing that I am thinking is, I wonder what you would be thinking about if you weren’t thinking about food? Is there something else that’s going on that you might be avoiding? Is obsession with food helping you to look toward something easier than what is really going on?
I think that the answer for you is two-fold, first to practice limit setting and second to figure out what it is that you’re avoiding. For instance, find a safe person and tell them that you are experimenting allowing yourself to buy and eat new foods in a healthy way. Then, think about what it is that you’re wanting to eat. Is it a pretzel? Can you go out and buy a pretzel and bring it home and eat it very slowly, mindfully and allow yourself to enjoy it? Can you stop when you are done? I recommend that you have your safe person there with you so that you have someone to talk to if you feel like bingeing or if you feel out of control. You might want to try a mindful eating download.
When you find yourself obsessing or scavenging for food, ask yourself, “what might I be avoiding? Is there something underneath these thoughts of food that I’m thinking about or needing?”
I do think that eating disorder therapy would be super beneficial for you to help you explore these questions. Check out edreferral.com for a therapist in your area.
Do you have a question about binge eating, bulimia, anorexia, or anything associated with eating disorders? Send an email to bingeeatingtherapy at gmail dot com. All questions will be kept confidential. Include your first name or the name you want to be referred to as and your location. Are you interested in online therapy to deal with your eating disorder? Please see my website or email me to discuss getting started.