I think I have a binge eating addiction I don’t know who to talk to about this I currently suffer from depression and anxiety I don’t think I am worth anything at all I hate looking at myself in the mirror I am living in a Women’s recovery program for almost a year I’ve been clean from alcohol and opiates for over 15months, praise god!! I struggle with smoking cigarettes and I go from one compulsive act to another I am currently in a relationship for almost a year I don’t know if I really love him or if I am co-depending on him but eating excessive amounts has always been apart of my life since I was 14yrs old. I eat differently from when I am around people versus being alone just please help me tell me what to do anybody!! I am hurting inside. One of my roommates, who is an ex drug addict realized my weakness for food and she is now disrespecting me and belittling me more than I already feel about myself if this gets to somebody please don’t take my cry for help lightly get back to me as soon as you can I am afraid to talk to anybody else about it.
I am so, so, so very sorry that you are going through this. First of all, congratulations on 15 months sober from drugs and alcohol, that’s amazing!
I would like to see you really start to find safe people to talk to about this. It seems like you are living in a place of suffering alone, and it doesn’t have to be that way. You are beating yourself for all the things you believe that you’re doing wrong, when you’ve being doing so much right for more than a year. It also seems like you believe you have to tackle everything that’s going on all at once and immediately. Though I think that taking action and taking responsibility for what’s going on in your life with be empowering, I’m of the mindset that you should slowly tackle things one-by-one. For instance, the most pressing issue at this time is your abusive roommate, so it might behoove you to leave that situation and find a more stable one. Next, I’d probably start to talk to your therapist about your food issues. Because you say that you have no one to talk to, it would be a good idea for you to join a group like EDA or OA. As you begin to gain strength with a core group of women who can help you to feel more stable and more strong, you might be in more of a position to fairly evaluate your relationship. And then, when you are ready, you might want to work on quitting smoking.
Most of all, I hope that you are talking to people about what you are going through. You sound so very lonely and my bet is that if you look around you will find at least one or two supportive people who are willing to listen and be supportive.
Good Luck to you.