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Thank you so much for your book and emails. Could you help me with a problem?
I had just started the first few chapters of your book and felt that I was making progress with my Binge Eating Disorder. I only had to cook for myself, I had no binge foods in the house and because I have just retired my life was calm and I felt in control.
BUT … then family members from overseas, whom I love dearly, came to stay with me for 3 months while they do some work here.
Now I am cooking for 6 people, looking after and home schooling an 8 year old boy most days and feeling as though my life is frantic. My family are binge eaters so there are lots of sweets and chocolates in the house.
I feel so helpless and powerless to know how to tackle the problem. I have given up and have gone back to binging every day.
Can you give me an idea about how to stop binging when I am living with other bingers? Is there a particular part of your book I should read if I get a spare moment to myself?
Thank you very much for your support.
I’m glad you wrote. There is a section in the book where I talk about binge eating with family members- how it’s possible to feel that you are not part of the family if you decide not to engage in unhealthy habits with them (Step 27). How you might even feel guilty, as though you are letting them down or even survivor guilt, that you are going toward a healthier life in recovery but leaving them behind in their binge eating and dysfunction. Is that part of what might be going on for you? Do you feel that you must engage with them as to stay “part” of the family? It might be an interesting experiment for you to try to get back to your non-bingeing and see how they react. Some family members might use you as an example to slow down. Others might feel threatened (unconsciously) and try to re-engage you in bingeing again. Remember that when you make an effort to take care of yourself first and foremost, you actually wind up taking care of people around you. You are more available to them, more solid, and they learn from your self-loving example.
What do you think?