I was with a client this morning who has a really big decision to make. She is deciding between two jobs that have been offered to her or alternately staying in her current job. She is a wreck. She can’t sleep. She’s been bingeing non-stop on anything she can get her hands on. She’s depressed, she’s anxious and she’s not sure what impact each decision will have on her life. And ultimately, though she doesn’t really love her job, she is comfortable there- and change is just so freaking hard. So, all that has been making her a total nervous wreck with very little ability to be grounded and centered.
So what do we do when we are in this space? When we don’t know what to do and when we find ourselves knee-deep in chips and ice cream instead of in the bounty of our choice.
How to Make a Difficult Decision:
1. Remember that choice is a privilege and be grateful for that. It doesn’t necessarily make your decision any easier, but it’s always good to remember that when you have options, you have liberty.
2. Get out of your head and into your body. When you are trying to make a difficult decision, you spend so much time ruminating and stressing about it. You are literally up in your head and not inhabiting your body. This makes you tired, foggy, not present and more likely to find yourself in front of the refrigerator without your permission or knowledge. Put your feet, feel the ground beneath you and take five deep breaths in and out. Do it right now! You will be amazed at how much of a change you can make in 60 seconds. You might check out this old article on 17 ways to be in your body.
3. Ask yourself this question, “if I weren’t scared, if I had no fear, what decision would I make?”
4.Think about your needs, your life and let go of anybody else’s energy that might be in your space. Your decision will impact you the most, so try not to think about what other’s might think about the decision you make. You can’t be a mind reader and you can’t please everyone. You don’t have to. You only have to decide on a path that is right for you.
5. Try to think about each possible path and think about how you would feel on the other side of it. If you can find a place of relief, that is where you belong.
6. Ask yourself, “am I afraid of making a poor decision or am I afraid of change?” change is incredibly difficult and we all have trouble with it. But fear of change shouldn’t keep us stuck in circumstances that don’t work for us.
7. Ask your deep inner wisdom. Put you hand over your heart and ask your wise self what you should do. Your higher self knows.
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